Madeleines Cherry Pie And Ice Cream (1087 Bathurst Street): It's been awhile since I've posted here, not for lack of brunch, but for lack of new places. But I'm back with something new to tout. Now that it's summer, I prefer to eat brunch outside. This morning it was bright and sunny, and we got to this pie and ice cream shop at Bathurst and Dupont at 10:15, 15 minutes early for its weekend brunch. While you can get food a la carte, including a $6.95 crepe/yogurt/fruit plate, you can also pay the steep $20 flat fee for their all you can eat buffet. We decided to indulge with the buffet, and indulge we did. I mean, seriously. The amount of butter we consumed was off the charts. There were warm, delicious croissants, mini custard tarts, broccoli quiches, potato tartelin, cinnamon twists, cheese and ham danishes. And then there was a good selection of cheeses: brie, blue, smoked apple cheddar. The madeleines were as Proustian as could be. There was a great fruit salad of fat blueberries, peaches and passionfruit. Big mugs of coffee, fancy juice and yogurt. There were omelettes made to order (I had cheddar, scallions and peppers) and crepes with fruit, all made by the chef at the table. It was crazy. The backyard patio is absolutely adorable, and everyone working there was super nice. It's a once in awhile treat, but definitely worth it, and Andrew brought home a great looking cherry pie.

Grapefruit Moon, (968 Bathurst): I was more partial to this place than Andrew solely due to our waiter, who, with his full beard, looked like a younger version of one of my uncles in Greece. I'm easy like that. It's definitely patio brunch season, and we sat outside. The food was good - the rarebit breakfast is poached eggs with cheddar sauce on multigrain toast. All eggs are free-range, and the breakfast quesadillas looked delicious. The coffee was a bit weak, and we got impatient waiting for our bill, but I would definitely go again.

Café la Gaffe (24 Baldwin): I love eating dinner on Baldwin St in the summer - the twinkly lights, cosy restaurants, good food. I don't eat there as much in the winter or in daylight, and wanted to change that. We were originally going to try the fancy French place up the street, but it looked too white linen for a beautiful, comfy Saturday morning. Cafe La Gaffe was a better choice. It was cosy, busy, smelled good. We sat out in the back patio and for a while I could've sworn we were in Montreal - everyone around us spoke in French. I had a brie and apple omelette, Andrew had steak and eggs. The food was good. I would return.

Saving Grace (907 Dundas Street West ): I had high expectations for this place, so it pains me to admit that Andrew and I left feeling unsatisfied. Our first attempt to dine here was thwarted by their February renovation, but it recently opened for business again. The room is tiny and bright, all hardwood floors and white walls. We luckily snagged a table immediately. The menu looked promising. I had strawberry and banana waffles, and Andrew had spinach and smoked salmon scrambled eggs. My waffles were good, and the pink heart-shaped pat of butter it came with was adorable, but I'm glad I got a side of bacon or else I would've still been hungry. Andrew's eggs were a little off - the salmon was too fishy, and the eggs were spiced with too much dill. We were both still hungry when we left, and really, I hate leaving brunch not feeling full. Brunch is a time for gluttony!

More breakfast places revisited: Although ideally I would like to try out new restaurants as often as possible, realistically I have my favourites that I will visit again and again. This past weekend I had Pam from Ottawa and Carly from Calgary staying with me, and we needed serious brunches to give us the energy for our jam-packed weekend. First up was the ever reliable, always delicious Maggie's. The food was perfect as usual. A tip: despite the amazingness of the stuffed French toast, the portion can sometimes be a bit much. You can get side order portions of the toast instead, which will allow you to either eat a reasonably sized meal, or get a nice, big order of garlic fries on the side with it. Next was Mitzi's. We held out for a table at Mitzi's Cafe and it was worth the half hour wait - the room is just so adorable and sunny. What I like about Mitzi's is that the menu essentially changes every day, and throughout the day based on the ingredients they have in the kitchen. Carly had chocolate eclair French toast made up of thick slices of bread topped with vanilla custard, a generous drizzle of melted dark chocolate, served with roast potatoes. I had an omelette folded with pieces of melty brie, ham and - so interesting - an orange and cranberry chutney. We washed it all down with rasberry-apple juice. How perfect.

Aunties & Uncles, Part II: I've already written about this place over here, but I went back over the weekend and had the most orgasmic meal: a fancy kind of grilled cheese sandwich made with brie, pear chutney and walnuts on challah. Each bite was rich and gooey and crunchy and just... just heavenly. Maybe not traditionally brunch-y, but still: perfect.

A Tex-Mex Showdown: La Hacienda (640 Queen St W) vs. Sneaky Dees (431 College St): I've had quite a few people recommend Saving Grace on Dundas to me. One morning, we drove over, and even got the best parking spot ever. Andrew looked at the restaurant from the car and said, "It looks a little... minimalist." Neither of us are fans of minimalism. We walked over, pressed our noses against the glass and realized that the minimalism was due to the fact that half the restaurant was being ripped up for renovations. Saving Grace will be closed until March. So. We ended up on Queen, at La Hacienda. I was craving Mexican. The brunch itself was nice - read the paper, sat in a comfy seat, felt all relaxed and Saturday morning-y. But, I wasn't so impressed with the rest of the meal. I had a plateful of soggy pinto and black beans covered with a fried egg, and a wedge of crumbly cornbread. Andrew had the breakfast burrito, which was a contradictory blend of dry tortilla and wet insides. Still in the mood for a good Tex-Mex breakfast, I went to Sneaky Dees the next day and had the huevos rancheros. For a few dollars you get a huge tortilla bowl stuffed with ham, beans, lettuce, tomatoes, guacamole, topped off with a fried egg. Sneaky Dees wins.

The Rosedale Diner (1164 Yonge Street): A fancy, not fake diner for sure. I ate the Eggs Dostoyevsky (smoked salmon and orange hollondaise), and it came with frites instead of homefries, perfect and mixed with gossamer threads of fried onions. Andrew had the French toast, which, although not the best, was good. The crowd wasn't too annoying for a fancy-kind of place and they served real coffee. The bill, including coffee, was a little less than $30, and we were completely stuffed. It was worth it. If you're driving over, park in the LCBO parking lot across the street. Visit the LCBO too, and if you're lucky you can sample little plastic cups of wine. Go to the fish store afterwards as well.

My Diner Criteria: This poorly articulated comment made me want to briefly discuss my criteria for judging these restaurants I frequent.
I like my diners humble and cheap. I expect a bacon and eggs breakfast (with potatoes, toast and coffee) to cost about $6. I expect the food to be greasy and generally bad, but I expect the refills of coffee to be plentiful and for one part of the dining experience (say, the potatoes, the toast options, the mini-jukebox, etc.) to be good enough that I don’t feel completely unsatisfied. As for décor, the diner doesn’t even have to be stereotypically retro, although there is a thrill in eating in a place that hasn’t changed décor or menu or price for the past 20 years. I like cozy booths, yellowed posters of Greek islands on the walls, and random newspaper sections laying around. Basically – I really don’t expect much when I go to a diner. This is why I’m always disapointed by "fake" diners. They just bug me, mostly because the food is usually still at regular diner quality, but with upscale prices. It’s just a waste. There is, however, a difference between "fake" and "fancy". I’m not so bothered by say,the Swan. I like the Swan; I don’t mind its pairing of fancy breakfast food with vintage 1950s diner design (although, "no coffee, just espresso" is still the most annoying thing).
I start getting really bothered when the food doesn’t justify the higher-than-regular-diner prices. Like the Avenue Diner. The food is just whatever, non-descript, but on top of that the atmosphere is all wrong. I could’ve probably tolerated the food otherwise, but sitting in a small room tightly packed with people discussing their hired help or their leather pants did not charm me at all. So unappetizing for a Saturday morning, and I blame it all on their location: too close to Yorkville/Forest Hill. So, I will call the Avenue Diner a "fake" diner no matter how long it’s been open – you can fall from your roots. Not as fake as Celine Dion’s Nickles, but not as good as People’s, which is just down the street. I would be willing to try it again without the morning rush, but I doubt I’ll ever be in that position, so, sorry Avenue Diner. You fail my criteria.

The Breakfast Connundrum: It's January and my time is being swallowed up by that awful beast called "The Busy Season". With Saturday being my only free day I want to be able to sleep in, lounge around, eat a good breakfast and dinner, and catch up on little things in life, like maybe reading a few pages in a book or maybe trying to write something. I'm not even considering being social. Is that too much to ask? Apparently. Saturday brunch poses a problem. I am not going to haul myself out of my apartment at 9, even 10, to get a good table. I will take my time. Which means that by the time I am ready to go, brunch is in full swing and finding somewhere to eat will mean waiting in line. But free time is at a premium! I don't want to wait! Hence - the breakfast connundrum. Andrea's friend Maya recommended Dr. Generosity (2197 Bloor St. W) in Bloor West Village. Andrew and I were in the area, and decided to give it a visit. Unfortunately, we were impatient and despite the teasing menu (crab and spinach eggs hollandaise! cream cheese and strawberry stuffed french toast!), we crossed the street and decided to just get a greasy spoon meal at The Sunset Grill instead. The lineup was even longer. Desperate, hungry and short on time we gave in to our dirty mistress: McDonalds. It was good. When we walked in, on the radio the Zombies asked us, "Who's your daddy?". I'm sorry :/

The Tulip (1606 Queen St. E): The eggs benedict are an orangey soupy mess - avoid. I longingly looked at Andrew's Rueben and wished I had ordered a burger instead. The booths are cozy and the staff was really nice and it's a good place to go if you're in the Beaches, but yeah - don't get the eggs benedict. I still feel a litle queasy.

Patrician Grill (219 King St. E): A small diner with vinyl booths. Food is regular diner-fare and the service is quick, but can be a little harsh. Andrew asked for his eggs overhard and when the eggs came with runny yolks the server informed us that as long as the eggs are fresh, it doesn't matter how you serve them. I agree that overhard is not the best way to eat an egg, but they could've still cooked them to order, you know? All part of its charm, I guess.

Urban Herbivore (256 Augusta Ave): This place makes the biggest, most delicious muffins. I think there are about 2 different types every day and they're hearty enough to sustain you through a few hours of shopping in Kensington Market.

The Future Bakery (483 Bloor St W): There's not a lot to say about Future's all day breakfast. They have one, it's passable, but boring. Get a slice of cake instead. Or just come later and get a basket of fries.

McDonalds (various): Not a very inspired choice, but there are times when there is nothing more satisfying than an Egg McMuffin, a hash brown and a paper cup of orange drink eaten straight off your lap in your car. To eat this breakfast at an actual McDonalds franchise would be depressing, but to eat it as sustenance for a road trip is sublime. Make sure to get extra napkins in case you spill any ketchup, and try to stop as soon as possible to throw out the greasy wrappers - the smell lingers in a bad way. If you're down south you can even get your eggs on a buttery biscuit, which is decadent, but messier. Perhaps the only meal at McDonalds where you believe that the food you're eating is actually real.

Lakeview Lunch (1132 Dundas St w): I was a little thrown by the number of children at this place on a Saturday morning. Not because it's a little dingy, but because the food was just bad. My eggs were rubbery, and even my Coke seemed a little watered down. The assortment of omelettes looks impressive, but I dunno. I think getting some custardy Portugese pastries and hearty loaves of bread down the street would be more satisfying.

People's Foods (176 Dupont St): A perfect diner - the booths are cozy and comfortable, and each one comes with its own mini-jukebox on which you can play "Crying" by Roy Orbison and "Sweet Child O Mine" by Guns n Roses for a few coins. The breakfast is standard diner fare. I prefer to come a little closer to noon and order a burger. Get the classic burger combo, which comes with fries and maybe the best onion rings there are in Toronto.

Mildred Pierce (99 Sudbury St): This place has been open forever. I read about it in an old book I have about places to eat in Toronto, and it was deemed to have the best French toast. Maybe it did 10 years ago, but now, while the French toast is good, it is definitely not the best. And for the price, the portion is small. My eggs came on a slightly stale croissant. The restaurant also suffers from tacky decor - faux-finished table tops ("antiqued") and over-the-top murals. I would rather go down the street to the Beaver or Mitzi's.

Mitzi's Cafe (100 Sorauren Ave) and Mitzi's Sister (1554 Queen St W): Mitzi's Cafe is cuter, a sunny room with small tables, good art, and a bustling kitchen. But, it's always full and I've only managed to get a table once. The good thing is that you can go to Mitzi's Sister down the street, which is more bar-like and less charming, but has lots of tables and shares the same menu. And when it comes down to it, you are going to Mitzi's for the food. Maybe my favourite breakfast find of 2005 - the eggs hollondaise are perfect things, silky rounds resting upon crumpets and doused in lemony sauce. The pancake is one thick slab of oatmealy pleasure, topped with whatever happens to be seasonal, from fat berries to eggnog. A perfect breakfast experience.

The Avenue Diner (222 Davenport Rd): I kind of hate this place. I've only been once, and I'll never return. It's not too far from Yorkville and the Four Seasons, and is filled with the kind of people you'd expect to see hanging out in those locales. And okay, that's fine, sometimes I hang out there too, but I cannot stomach listening to a family talk about the failings in the risotto the hired help cooked the night before or watching a woman in ill fitting leather pants before noon on a Saturday (both of which I experienced when I was there). The Avenue Diner also sells its own merch, and I am so bugged by fake diners selling their own t-shirts. The food was okay, I don't really remember. Go to People's down the street instead.

The Stem (354 Queen St West): Maybe I'm being cynical, but I'm surprised that the Stem exists as it does at Queen and Spadina. It would be so easy for the owners to clean up the place a little, hang up a few black and white photographs and start charging fifteen dollars and up for entrees. It's a good location and has the retro-diner chic already. But, as it is, you've got a great diner where you can get greasy bacon and eggs, undertoasted white bread and endless cups of coffee for a few dollars.

Fressen (478 Queen St W): Another wonderful place to go with your vegan friends. Even though my vegan friends are no longer vegan, we still come here. I have not always been so impressed with dinner at this restaurant, but brunch is mind-blowing. Your plate comes stuffed with fresh fruit, a roasted tomato, toast, crunchy tempeh and guacamole and salsa, and whatever your ordered as your main. Scrambled tofu is good, and the tall glasses of freshly squeezed juice are perfect. There is soy milk for your free trade coffee. They've renovated, so the space is a lot more open and sunny now, with rustic wooden tables to eat on.

Vesta Lunch (474 Dupont): The food is diner-style bad - rubbery eggs, oily potatoes, cheap bottled juice. But that's okay and after expensive, faux-diners it is always a relief to eat dirt cheap, genuinely bad food in a place that looks like it's supposed to serve it. Vesta is an institution of sorts, skinny and lined only with one long bar where you'll always find Greek taxi drivers congregated on one end, drinking coffee and barking at each other in Greek. It's open 24 hours.

The Swan (892 Queen St. W): So, okay, the place looks charming - it has the perfect diner-aesthetic, with cozy booths and Formica, stools and old timey Coke coolers in the back. But, don't be fooled, because it's relatively pricey and also does the weird no-regular-coffee thing. I like the food here enough - you can get different breakfast stuff, like eggs with oysters. The kind of place I'd go to once a year, not every weekend, you know?

The Beaver Cafe (1192 Queen St W): You can generally count on finding a place here on a Saturday morning if your other options are too busy, even if it's at the bar. A little pricy for the portions, but you don't leave feeling like you've ingested a pound of grease. Their steamed eggs are divine, as is the fig preserve that comes in small metal pots for the toast. I like the avocado sandwiches. The Beaver is one of those weird breakfast places that doesn't serve regular coffee, just espresso and Americanos. I don't understand this, other than the fact that it means we pay $2.50 for one cup of caffeine. Anyway, I'll forgive it. They play Teenage Fanclub.

The Victory Cafe (581 Markham, in Mirvish Village): I've only eaten brunch at the Victory Cafe in the summer, mainly for the gorgeous, cool tree-lined patio. I love this area of Toronto. The food is good, cheap and fulfilling too. You can get challah with your eggs, and the waffles come with a dollop of whipped cream.

Aunties & Uncles (74 Lippincott Street): There is always a line-up for the place if you get there after 10, and once, when my brunch date ran a little late I was asked to wait outside even after staking out a table and ordering orange juice. It's a popular, hipsterish breakfast haunt. The converted house, 70s-era tables and comfort music playing in the background make it feel like you are in fact eating at your aunty's and uncle's. The food is fresh and good, with potato salad instead of hash browns.

Maggie's (400 College St). I've been going religiously to Maggie's with my girlfriends for the past few years strictly for the French toast. Their French toast is an absolute indulgence: a mammoth four layered stack of eggy bread stuffed with crunch peanut butter and slices of banana. I've tried the apples and cinnamon and had bites of the sundried apricot and Amaretto, but it was the peanut butter and banana that has always been closest to my heart. The extra great thing about Maggie's is that they do a great veganized version of the French toast which meant that me and my friends would leave the restaurant equally stuffed. Recently I've been eating their eggs benedict, which is silky and rich, and comes with a side of their amazingly addictive garlic fries. If you want a table, make sure to come early, and try to ignore the bad art on the walls.