Book Update #7

Since March 1st my manuscript has been out of my hands. My editor is now reading through it and taking notes, and soon I'll start working with her to see where it goes next. In the meantime, maybe you'd like to give me a few helpful hints?

I’ve contributed one of the stories that will be included in Bats or Swallows to Bite Size Edits, a site that strives to unleash your inner editor. The process starts with someone submitting a text - a story, a novel excerpt, whatever. The text is then portioned out into small sections (bite size, you might say) and members of the site can edit or approve the text as they see fit. These edits are given to the author, who rejects or accepts them. Participants get points as they edit. A game! If you're the kind of person who dies a little when you see incorrectly placed apostrophe’s (kidding!) or if you’re one of those word game nerds who claimed to have originally signed up for a Facebook account to play Scrabulous (unlike the rest of us who signed up to spy on exes, crushes and frenemies) or if you just like to read, then you’ll have a lot of fun with this site. And anyone can submit text, so feel free to add your own. A bunch of writers much, much more established than me have submitted writing, and there’s something kind of satisfying about editing a big shot HarperCollins writer’s work, no?

So, please feel free to rip my story apart bite-sized bit at a time. Because I’m actually in the editing phase right now, I’ll take your suggestions seriously.

Here's my profile with a link to the story.

And here's the Bite Size Edits FAQ which explains how the site works better than I do.

P.S. There's an amazing profile of Invisible on Torontoist. You should read it.

Book Update #6

So, titles. You might have noticed that I haven't told you the name of the book. This wasn't because I wanted to do a big unveiling, but because although I had a working title, I didn't feel comfortable with it. It just didn't feel right. Theoretically short story collections should be easy to name: pick a story that summarizes the collection and you're set. I chose the story that I thought did just that, but when I realized how reluctant I was to tell people what it was, I figured I should probably go with something else.

Titles are hard for me. When I first started writing, I stuck with very Raymond Carver-esque titles, one-word, plain descriptions. After awhile that got boring (and kind of ridiculous) and I never quite mastered anything more clever. These days I accidentally stumble on to titles, get them suggested to me, or stick with average titles and hope that the rest of the story will make up for it.

And then I read this post at The Rumpus on the very topic of titles.

The point is, though, when it comes to the writing process, sometimes a bad title can help you more than a good one. In their book Deepening Fiction, Sarah Stone and Ron Nyren talk about the idea of creative beginnings versus actual beginnings: Even if we end up cutting the original “creative beginning” of a novel or short story—the part of the novel or story, often, that we’re most attached to—this doesn’t mean it’s not an essential part of the writing process. In some ways, it’s the most essential. The same goes for titles, I think.

This made sense to me. When I gathered the stories that would be used in the book, my working title helped me find a centre and organize them into a cohesive collection. It wasn't the snappiest title, but it did the job. And then, once I got the collection in order, I was able to sit back and pick something that made more sense.

So, the title I'm happy with and that has gotten thumbs up from even the pickiest people I know (Hi Andrew, Hi Soraya) is named after a short story called "Bats or Swallows". Bats or Swallows and Other Stories.

I think it sounds like a book.

Book update #5

Let's talk feelings for a bit. While feelings are good for inspiring the writing process, maybe they're better left out towards the end of it. When you're almost finished a project, you have to be ruthless and review what you've written with a cold, unflinching eye. You should cut mercilessly, trim away the fat. Be adept at gracefully and gratefully accepting criticism. Pfft, feelings! You're not a baby. You are an artist, honing.

My husband was out of town for two weeks and although I wasn't accustomed to a quiet apartment, it was wonderful having uninterrupted time to work. And work I did, steadily, consistently, sitting at the kitchen table and hiding away from the cold air outside. It was great. But, after more time than usual to stew in my own thoughts, I started psyching myself out a little. I printed out a story that I thought I was almost done with, and seeing all those words on a real page scared me. I crossed out paragraphs, lines, put big question marks or sometimes simply wrote in the margin, "MAKE THIS BETTER". Huh.

This coincided with Andrew's return to Montreal. Shortly afterwards, we grabbed some dinner at Aux Vivres, a nearby vegetarian/vegan restaurant that can amazingly turn coconut into a respectable bacon substitute (I know it sounds crazy, but it actually tastes good. This coconut bacon has nothing to do with this entry, but I just wanted to mention it. Coconut bacon!). The restaurant was so packed that I was practically bumping elbows with my neighbours. The atmosphere was bright and cheery and we were having a perfectly pleasant time, until we started talking about writing stuff. Suddenly I found my eyes welling up with tears. "It's no good!!" I said. "None of it!" I cried into my lovely, multicoloured and uber healthy rice bowl. I might've wished they were fries instead. Our neighbours did a good job of ignoring me and Andrew rubbed my arm and patiently told me that I had nothing to worry about.

Ahh, such a pathetically hilarious scene. I laughed at myself afterwards, but oof, I was freaked out. I wrote emails to my girlfriends. They wrote me back within hours with perfect little peptalks; they are amazing. That helped a lot too.

The truth is that so far I've been really pumped about this whole experience, excited for what comes next, but I've also, annoyingly, started accumulating my fears into a neat little list. What if I can't make these stories "better"? What if the book is an exercise in public humiliation? And oh god, my parents are going to read this thing and are going to tell their friends about it. There's like, sex in it. There are too many stories about people dying. Or cheating on each other. So much infidelity! What's with that? And how many fatal car accidents have I written into my stories? Too many. Oh GOD.

It's really easy to start making a list of the things you don't like as soon as you start thinking about them. It's dangerous.

At the moment, after a fairly productive weekend, the panic has waned. I'm still nervous, but much calmer. I have other, more important things to concentrate on (i.e. let's eliminate some of those car crashes, yes?). There will be no more crying at vegetarian restaurants. Or rather, if I'm going to cry in public, it should be somewhere with more indulgent food and drink options.

I'm assuming (hoping) that most writers feel like this occasionally, especially those about to publish their first books, so I might as well acknowledge it, get a few laughs out of it.

Right?

Book Update #4

Sam recently posted an entry describing what's on her writing desk. I love those kinds of lists and the moment where you look around and realize that all those things you have hanging around add up to tell a story.

It's really cold here in Montreal, the kind of cold that hurts, even if you've mastered the art of layering and have warm boots and a big fluffy down filled parka. So, I've spent most of the weekend holed up at home working on writing. And here's what my writing desk looks like right now.


(You can click on it to see a bigger version.)

I have a tiny desk in the bedroom, which is potentially nice - I could stare out a window if I wanted to. But I've never gotten comfortable there and have used it instead as a place to pile up excess books. I prefer to write at the kitchen table, where I can spread my stuff out, where I have nicer light and more breathing space.

So, what you see:
The glow of the laptop screen, of course. There's some tea to combat the cold. Printed out versions of stories for when I can't stand to look at the screen anymore. You can see a book peeking out behind the screen (I was rereading Franny and Zooey; I know, I know, how typical). And then, way in the back? There's Archer, who is normally not allowed on the table, but was trying to get my attention. So there you go, Archer, you made it into the photo.

Book Update #3.5

Work is busy this week and I've been exhausted at the end of the day, so progress on the stories is inching along, minutely, word by word, more in my head than on a computer screen. But, I feel focused again, which is a relief.

What I've been doing instead: Reading "Come Thou, Tortoise" by Jessica Grant, a book that has come recommended by many people and is proving to be a delight to read. I'll write more about it once I'm finished. I've been interspersing my reading of the book with John Berryman poems. I'd never read him before, despite his major role in American confessional poetry (i.e. the kind I'm a sucker for). A few weeks ago, listening to "John Allen Smyth Sails" by Okkervil River, I realized I wasn't quite sure who they were referring to. I've talked about my love for Okkervil River before, and the more I learned about John Berryman and corresponding his life to Will Sheff's lyrics, the more I started appreciating the genius of this song. Berryman committed suicide in 1972, and the song is sad, but also wry, kind of like his poems. The throwback to Sloop John B. at the end is also beautiful and hillarious. I remember seeing them play this song live, and when they were done our ears were still ringing from the last part - it was loud, joyful, resolute, screamy - and we all kind of looked at each other like, holy shit. It was good.

So, this doesn't qualify as a full book update, but it's an indication of where my brain is at these days: a little scattered, a little tired, a little pensive.

Book Update #3

Another relic from my parents’ place: I found this drawing in the journal I kept when I was 19 years old and started having consistent internet access (I know, I can’t believe I used to illustrate my diary. I had so much time back then.) This could have easily been drawn today, but the picture dates itself: look at that computer! It’s so big. The screen is a massive cube.

I mention email in that comic, but these days it’s probably Twitter. Email has now become more functional – a vehicle to make plans or discuss important things rather than send or receive idle missives.

So, let’s see what Twitter has revealed about my recent writing habits:

Ok, enough with the holidays, I really need to get back to writing.
2:43 PM Jan 2nd from web

I was stern and disciplined at the beginning of the new year.

Rewriting a story that's 3 yrs old. I find myself grasping at the old story, but I've gotta kill that darling to really make it work. RIP.
4:00 PM Jan 10th from web

The stories I’m having the most difficulty with these days are the ones that are older and need to be rewritten. The new stories are fresh enough that I can play with them without getting bored. An old story, on the other hand, one that’s gone through various revisions already, is a different beast. An older beast, one that’s a little creaky, a little reluctant to change. I find myself gutting paragraphs and story lines I felt very strongly about at one point. It’s kind of vicious.

Listening to The National too much and feeling annoyingly swoony. Swooniness isn't good for writing. In fact, swooniness = bad writing.
9:41 PM Jan 19th from web

This can sum up the state of my writing this week. I don’t know what it is – I made minimal plans so that I could stay home and write in the evenings, but I kept finding myself getting distracted by, say, laundry or vacuuming the dust collected underneath the sofa cushions (wha?) or, as noted above, by listening to music that inspires sappiness, which unfortunately doesn’t translate into good, robust writing.
So, I spend a lot of my self-imposed writing time procrastinating. I’m trying to reconcile that procrastination goes hand in hand with a healthy writing life, and if not a healthy life, then at least a normal one. We all do this. I can see you through the computer screen reading this blog entry instead of doing the writing you were supposed to do. Caught you!

I’m trying to comfort myself with the fact that procrastination is not simply avoiding writing. Rather, I’m giving my subconscious the space to figure things out on its own. I know this works because it happens to me at work. I will be trying to resolve an accounting issue and eventually my head will start to hurt from thinking about it so much. I’ll go home for the evening, get on with the rest of my life, and when I get to work the next morning, the answer appears as if by magic. But it’s not magic, it was the little monkeys in the back of my brain chugging along while I made dinner and tried to work on my book. This happens less so with my writing because I don’t think I detach from writing life the way I detach from work. I don’t necessarily give my brain the space to breathe. Maybe?

Book Update #2

As I mentioned in my last update, my manuscript is due on March 1st. After that I will be working with an editor. When I think about it rationally, I have plenty of time. The bulk of the manuscript is essentially finished - I have 13 stories at various stages. Some of them have already been published, so I can set those aside. Others have been workshopped, read by friends, and have generally been knocking around my brain for enough time that I'm fairly comfortable with them and the rewrites I need to do. The remaining stories are very new, a little raw, written in the past 6 months, as recent as three weeks ago. But as long as the bones are there, I have enough time to work through them. Right?

One of my challenges is firming up a writing schedule. In the past few years my day job has ranged from consisting of soul crushing hours to, more recently, normal ones with certain busy periods. I remember the feeling of starting to work regular hours: I suddenly had so much time! It was amazing that I could come home, cook an actual dinner, work on writing or see friends on a weeknight. I would get so much writing done, I told myself. And I did get more writing done, but because I was never a write every day kind of person, not as much as I had initially hoped. So, in order to rework my internal writing wiring, I've been setting deadlines for myself, assigning different days of the week to stories or tasks, and it's working, I think. I'll um, let you know.

I've also been reading "The Best American Short Stories 2009", edited by Alice Sebold. Soraya gave it to me for Christmas and it came at a time when I was thinking about what made stories work. I know thought has been put into the ordering of stories in the collection, but I prefer to treat best of anthologies as Magic 8 balls or tarot cards. I read stories randomly, trusting that it will lead me in the right direction. I know it's kind of new age-y, but this actually works. I mean, I know it's because a good story will always be a pleasure to read, but seriously, guys, sometimes it's uncanny. I read Victoria Lancelotta's "The Anniversary Trip", a story about a married couple that travels to Paris with the husband's mother, when I was rewriting a story about a couple that takes a significant trip of their own. I read Adam Johnson's "Hurricanes Anonymous" when I was fretting about voice, and man, the voice in that story really rings out. I had so much luck with the 2009 collection that I dug out the 2006 anthology, which I had on my bookshelves and, judging by the uncracked spine, barely touched.

It's my kind of hocus pocus.

Book Update #1

I haven't written about something I got really excited about towards the end of 2009, mostly because it felt more like a 2010 event. Now that we've begun the new year, I thought it would be a good time to start writing about it here: in fall 2010, Invisible Publishing will be publishing my first book, a collection of short stories. I'm really excited about this, grateful to be able to share some of my writing with the world in a format that I love so dearly: a book.

The process of publishing a book is kind of mysterious to me. Despite my love of books, I've never bothered to learn more about the industry, although I have gathered some peripheral knowledge here and there with the advent of publishing blogs. I mean, I cut my writing teeth with zines, so when I think about things like layout and printing, I think first of gluesticks and photocopiers. Publishing a book with a press is new territory for me. I've worked with editors before, but never for anything over 30,000 words, so I'm curious to experience that relationship. I'm looking forward to seeing how cover art and book design is chosen, how books are sold to stores, how one goes about promoting a book. And I thought some of you may be interested in this as well, or at least interested in this process filtered through my perspective. This is also for my own benefit: I've been a compulsive self-documenter since I started my first diary in the third grade.

So, I'll start at the beginning.

Invisible is a small Canadian press . The mandate on their website is simple and good, and something I can stand firmly behind: "Invisible Publishing is committed to working with writers who might not ordinarily be published and distributed commercially. We work exclusively with emerging and under-published authors to produce entertaining, affordable, print-based art. We believe that books are meant to be enjoyed by everyone and that sharing our stories is important. In an effort to ensure that books never become a luxury, we do all that we can to make our books more accessible." Books they've published that I've enjoyed include Anna Quon's Migration Songs and Stacey May Fowles' Fear of Fighting and in the spring they're publishing an anthology of Jeff Miller's Ghost Pine, and you may recall that I had an essay included in The Art of Trespassing, which was edited by Anna Leventhal and published by Invisible.

When asked about writing, I will give the typical answer and say that I've been writing my whole life (i.e. that Nancy Drew ripoff I wrote in Grade 5 about a girl detective named Tracy Maguire, the weird "novel" I wrote in the eighth grade where one of the characters is HIV positive and, I don't know, someone murdered someone somewhere, maybe the HIV positive character did it?, the time I tried to recreate the entire script for Clue, ignoring the fact that for the movie to have been made, a script was probably written for it, etc.). But I began seriously writing in 2005, and since then I have amassed quite a few stories, most of them embarrassing and not at all as funny to tell you about as that novel I wrote in the eighth grade. But in the past 2 years I had pared my writing down, felt more confident about my "voice" and wrote newer, better (to me) stories. I felt I had enough to create a cohesive collection. Because of the previous relationship I had had with Invisible from the anthology, at the beginning of 2009 I emailed them some of my stories, a CV, and asked if they would be interested in doing a book.

As things in the writing world go, time passes. La la la. You keep writing, you get rejection letters and emails, sometimes you get acceptances, you waste a lot of time on Twitter instead of writing, you plan a wedding. You know, life goes on. I heard from Invisible again in July saying that they were interested and that if I had more to show them, as well as any other information that they thought would be useful, to send it to them. I did, and then more time passed, and we spoke again in October and then in November and they confirmed that they were indeed interested in publishing a collection of short stories. This past December while I was on the East Coast, I met up with Robbie MacGregor of Invisible for lunch in Halifax and officially signed the contract.

My manuscript is due on March 1st, and I'm still working on it. I'll write more about the writing process and the work I have to do until then in subsequent posts, but if you have any questions or are curious about anything relating to this, by all means let me know.

So, um, yay! A book!